Tuesday, May 5, 2009


You are not wired for progress. You seek a state of sameness, one where mental and physical stressors are nonexistent, and every day is just like the one before. Routine is bliss for your underperforming ass.It’s not your fault. Evolution left you ready to do battle with nature, and civilization gave you a neutron bomb. You should be outside, spear in one hand and shield in the other, looking for something to kill. Instead, you’ve got forty-five aisles of floor-to-ceiling shrink-wrapped grub, obtainable with nothing more than a plastic card and a smile.
I’m a grizzly bear charging at twenty miles an hour, the uncertainty of your next meal, and the reason you sleep with one eye open.
You should be sprinting away from predators, seeking safety, but you’ve got fences, freeways, and a fifteen-digit algorithmically protected front door. You’ve got two guns, a can of mace, four layers of body armor, and nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, your DNA doesn’t know this. Your hindbrain is programmed to save your resources for another day, conserving energy for an apocalyptic event that will never come. “Eat more, move less,” it says, and you’re eager to comply. The result is a forty-five inch waist and a mean case of diabetes.You need a prod. A thousand volt, fifty-milliamp foot to the backside, designed to override your nonsensical attachments to comfort. You need me.I am the stress that humanity has removed from your existence. I’m a grizzly bear charging at twenty miles an hour, the uncertainty of your next meal, and the reason you sleep with one eye open. I’m your coach.I’m not yelling at you because I’m angry. I’m yelling because you need to be shoved away from calm and toward performance, brought to a place where death is imminent and action is the only option, and it’s my job to bring you there.When my volume goes up and my tone gets clipped, you move rapidly. You execute. You drive faster and further into physiological discomfort, and you stay there. You leave six-way adjustable leather seats and lumbar support for the weak, and transport yourself to a place where ease is a distant memory. Your hindbrain wakes up, and those resources, heretofore held for Armageddon, know that it’s go time. Fat melts, lungs sear, and muscles break down, all in service of getting away from me.Day after day, you undergo this process, overcoming unreasonable obstacles until your recalcitrant brain is born again hard. Embracing pain and shunning comfort, you’re ready to kill or be killed. You’re rewired, no longer subject to the temptations of easy living and all-you-can eat buffets. You’re an athlete.
The pull of a painless life is too great to get here alone. You need me, the harbinger of change, the bullwhip, the irresistible rush of progress. I am your ticket to growth, and I’m sending you to battle civilization’s paradox with nothing more than a pointy stick. Ironically, you’ll win, and if that apocalypse ever comes, you’ll be ready.


Sunday, February 22, 2009

Keep your eyes peeled...

For my new blog - less about nothing, more about one of the most important things...

"The liberties of our country, the freedom of our civil constitution are worth defending at all hazards: And it is our duty to defend them against all attacks. We have receiv'd them as a fair inheritance from our worthy ancestors: They purchas'd them for us with toil and danger and expence of treasure and blood; and transmitted them to us with care and diligence. It will bring an everlasting mark of infamy on the present generation, enlight'ned as it is, if we should suffer them to be wrested from us by violence without a struggle; or be cheated out of them by the artifices of false and designing men. Of the latter we are in most danger at present: Let us therefore be aware of it. Let us contemplate our forefathers and posterity; and resolve to maintain the rights bequeath'd to us from the former, for the sake of the latter. Instead of sitting down satisfied with the efforts we have already made, which is the wish of our enemies, the necessity of the times, more than ever, calls for our utmost circumspection, deliberation, fortitude and perseverance. Let us remember, that 'if we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it, and involve others in our doom.' It is a very serious consideration, which should deeply impress our minds, that millions yet unborn may be the miserable sharers in the event." -Samuel Adams

Monday, January 26, 2009

Tri-Decade birthdays

We're kicking off the year of Tri-Decade birthdays right this weekend with a 2-night backpacking expedition in to the Sipsey Wilderness area. On the menu - Rippey (Magnolia) trail and Borden Creek trail. It's going to be cold - but fun nonetheless!

Monday, January 12, 2009

AR, anyone?

I'm working on getting in to Adventure Racing. The first potential outing is January 24th at the Sandman AR at Red Top Mountian SP just north of ATL. We'll see...seems it would be very cold for an inexperienced canoer to get dipped that early in the year...

Thursday, November 13, 2008

The results are in...

Team Creampuff (Minus Commish, Insert Monty) competed in the 1st Annual Blood Rock EX Duathlon last weekend. It was a perfect day to be out at OMSP, and fun was had by all. We finished in 9th overall, and 2nd in the Men's Relay division. I'm ready to do it again...

While teasing the Commish for not competing with us in the BREX, it seems a new challenge has been given. Some time (soon I hope) in the future, Brain, Commish, and I will be tackling the Rails to Trails from Anniston to Smyrna. More to come...

Friday, November 7, 2008

My Apologies

I've noticed that I haven't done a very good job of keeping this site interesting - lack of posts, not too many photos, not nearly enough jabs at the Commish. I'm starting today in an effort to do better.
A couple of freinds and I are running a race this weekend at Oak Mountain State Park - the Blood Rock EX Duathlon. I'm pumped about it and I'll post a pic soon.

While you wait in sticky anticipation for the photos, check out this little dandy: http://www.80ozoffury.com/.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Next big adventure...

This is a snapshot of the John Muir Trail, part of the Pacific Crest Trail. It is said to be some of the best hiking / backpacking in North America, if not the world. Traveling through Yosemite, Kings Canyon, and Sequoia National Forest, somehow I don't think that's an exaggerated statement...

Adventure for 2009? We'll see...